“Easy choices = hard life, hard choices, easy life.”
Have you ever sensed that something just felt ‘off?’ You might have felt that around someone, at a job or when mulling over a decision. Ultimately when it comes to making a change, it can feel too scary to take a leap of faith. The choice to stay the course is easier, the choice to change is harder.
How do you want to live your life?
I chose change.
I feel energized.
I also feel fear, and I am trusting more and more every day.
I am here to prove that it is MORE than worth it to take a journey off the beaten path into your own heart to live the life of your dreams.
If I can do it, so can you. Here’s how.
I will begin my Master's in Counselling Psychology program starting this January. It is 2.5 years and $48,000. There are a lot of logical reasons to not do this. The financial 'setbacks,' a young family, and the length of commitment. Heck, there were a lot of reasons not to leave my teaching job, start a Reiki and Yoga business, or move away from my hometown.
So why am I doing it? Why did I do any of it?
Seven years ago something felt ‘off’ in my career and truly, in my life, and while I couldn’t have predicted this is where I would be, I started to tug on the thread.
I began to realize for as far back as I can remember, fear had been my norm. The world was a scary place and I wanted no part of it. It felt as if I was born that way and therefore, change wasn’t possible. I increasingly retreated within and I began to numb my pain. I remember wishing for a cancer diagnosis because I wanted a REASON to suffer. I was suffering in private because I felt I had no right. According to society’s standards, I was privileged and mental health was seen as a choice.
Since I lived in fear, I truly didn’t know who I was, so I let everyone else decide everything for me. Eventually it was decided that I was smart and kind, so I should be a teacher. In my heart I knew I needed to serve my community in some way, so I assumed that this was it. I could have made it work, because it was the easy choice, I was already doing it.
Yet I wasn't living the life I intended for myself and all the easy choices were leading me down a hard path. I kept falling, things kept crumbling and for that, I am so grateful. The harder the falls were, the more I climbed.
What I now realize was that fear, and the journey I took through various counselling programs, doctors offices, yoga training, endless self-help books, sobriety, and ultimately my own mind, would one day set me free.
Free to be me.
Every moment in our lives is a gift, whether painful or joyful, it has something to teach us about ourselves. As Rumi said, “The wound is the place where the light enters you.” Without the pain, I wouldn’t fully understand joy. I could easily look back on my life and see all the suffering, but I can also say with confidence that as I keep making hard choices, I have never been happier.
In the synchronicities of my life, this feels full circle. I am meant to be a Psychotherapist. I can be of service to others, because I have failed, I have succeeded, and I am still growing.
With all that knowing, I initially stopped myself from applying as I didn’t think it was possible for me. I also told myself that I don’t need to acquire knowledge just to feed my ego. I convinced myself of all the reasons not to do something that felt too hard.
So I put the question out into the universe and I asked my guides for a sign. “Thank you guides for showing me my sign by the end of the day if this is right for me.” I got it. I did nothing.
As I perused the University’s website YET again, I saw the message ‘achieve your possible.’ It stoked the fire within. I couldn’t ignore the pull to be the change that I seek in the world around me.
I kept getting signs so I asked yet again. This time, at the lake in my kayak, my sign hovered in front of my face. The red dragonfly came almost immediately. As if that wasn’t enough, red dragonflies began landing all over me and my kayak. As I embark on this journey that feels mountainous, I am reminded of all it took to get here and what it will take to see my dream come to fruition.
I will keep working hard to be the change that I seek so I can achieve my possible and my kids can too. Everyone deserves to feel free to be who they are, and when that happens, they can reach their full potential so we can all create a lasting impact in the world, together.
Here are just some of the steps to think about on your journey:
Trust yourself, make a plan and make some changes.
Remind yourself that you deserve to feel joy and peace.
Get triggered, things are falling apart so they can fall away to make space for your unique purpose.
Take a Restorative Yoga class to dig deep and learn some helpful tools.
Take breaks to breathe mindfully, In for 5 seconds, exhale for 5 seconds, nice and full on the inhale and nice and slow on the exhale. See if it feels good to lengthen the exhale more than 5 seconds.
Meditate daily - start at 5 mins, it's about calming the mind not quieting it - try a mantra as your anchor. Your mind will wander, bring it back to your anchor. My favourites are, ‘just be’ and ‘I am.’
Visualize and/or journal what you want.
If you don’t know, start every day with this mantra: today, it is my dominant intention to find things I like.
Get spiritual! Ask for divine guidance, pick an animal, song, number, or other symbol that resonates with you.
Reach out to me with any questions, or talk with a loved one.
This is my mantra right now as I surrender faithfully to this journey that resonates with me, 'money flows into my life today. I live the life of my dreams.'
I still don’t know how I will do it, how I will carve out the time, how I will pay for it all. It's up to me to dream, to choose and to allow. It's the Universe's job to deliver. I'm determined to prove it to myself and to you, intuition is powerful and we are all divinely supported and guided. Stay tuned!
It’s time to live the life you intend for yourself.
Take the leap!
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